Most people in permanent relationships sleep with their partners. You will probably agree that at some time or another your sleeping partner has caused you a restless night's sleep. However, the advantages of a couple sleeping together - intimacy, enhanced resistance to stress and anxiety etc. - would suggest that you and your sleeping partner manage to come up with a solution for how best to sleep together.
How to get a good night’s sleep together
Sleeping with your partner may disturb your sleep if you both have different sleeping patterns and needs. This is why it is a good idea to agree on how to deal with your different sleeping patterns and preferences:
- The temperature of the bedroom
- The firmness of the mattress
- Light in the bedroom
If you cannot agree about the temperature of the bedroom you can solve this issue by choosing a thicker or thinner duvet and having your own each. If it is the firmness of the mattress that disturbs either of your sleep, you could each have your own single bed and cover them both with a single, thick mattress topper. That would make it feel like one bed, catering for your respective mattress preferences.
If light is the reason for sleeping badly together, make sure that each of you has your own bedside lamp. It might also be a good idea to have a blackout curtain if you are bothered by light from outside.
Bear different sleeping patterns and habits in mind
Your partner’s different sleeping patterns and habits may be the cause of your restless sleep. Your partner may have no idea how annoying they are. So it is a good idea to discuss your routines and habits:
- TV before bedtime
- Different bedtimes
Enjoying television or not enjoying television before going to bed varies from one person to another. Some need it to get to sleep, whereas some need complete silence.
Going to bed or getting up at different times can also disturb sleep. Try going to bed at more or less the same time. If that is not possible, you should agree that the last one going to bed should be extra considerate. Conversely, the one who gets up first in the morning should not use the snooze button again and again, because snoozing disturbs the other person’s sleep.
Other causes of restless sleep
“You always hurt the one you love.” But it is hard to convince your sleeping partner of this, if you have delivered an affectionate, but intentional punch, because your partner is taking up too much space, grinding their teeth or snoring. Fortunately there are some good tips to stop snoring and teeth grinding. However, a sleeping position is a subconscious choice that can be difficult to change.
Another cause of disturbed sleep might be that your sleeping partner constantly tosses and turns. This could be because your partner sleepwalks or talks in their sleep.